Is This China’s Most Unique Family?
About 75 years ago, just before the founding of the People’s Republic of China, the village of Yu Min, part of Dongsheng in Zhongshan was a simple place, a clean river ran through, there were farms growing a range of different things such as bananas, sugar cane, vegetables and rice, lots of rice. During that period a boy and a girl were born, Liang De Ming and Wei Yan Lan. They didn’t know each other but they grew up not far apart and started going to school, she in Xiao Lan and he in Yu Min, about the same time as Chairman Mao declared a new future for a China.
Education stopped early for both of them after only a few years because in those days, there were different financial considerations. But, at age 18, in 1963 a very proud young Liang De Min joined the army and served for the next 6 years. On his return to the village in 1969, he worked locally and was lucky enough to meet with Wei Yan Lan. They married in late 1970.
Eighteen months later a baby was born, a girl, her name is Jie Hua. It wasn’t a big disappointment because she was healthy and strong, there was no family planning policy at that time, so in 1974, the next baby came along and, once more it was a girl called Yu Hua. During all the years of growing up neither of these girls ever heard their parents express any disappointment for their lack of a son and never felt any sense of concern, it was just something the family accepted. In 1981, another girl, Min Hua, was born to the couple, this was a difficult period as she was born against the Family Planning rules of the time. A fine was paid and some administrative punishments, but still, the couple never once expressed any lack of care or feelings, all three girls grew up in a normal family.
Liang De Ming had a job in Shiqi, the main town about 25 kilometres away, so he didn’t come home every day. Wei Yan Lan worked in the village school and became a very popular teacher, nowadays, middle aged ladies in Dongsheng often approach her for photos and to introduce their own kids to their favourite primary school teacher. She worked very hard, with her husband away Monday to Friday. She needed to work all day in school, look after the children and tend to the family fields so there was enough food for everyone to eat all year round.
As the daughters grew, they helped in the fields, they picked jasmine blossoms they had planted on their own land and sold them for pennies, working hard to help supplement the family income. As time went on, little by little things started to change, Liang De Ming’s job changed, he moved to Xiao Lan and was able to come home every night. As the country grew stronger so did the towns and the villages. Liang De Ming built the first two storey house in the village with his own hands. It took many years as he built on weekends and in what little free time he had. It was the first house in the village to have a non-traditional, flat roof and, after a few more years, the first house to have a washing machine.
Liang De Ming is an unusually intelligent man, as well as building the first house with a flat roof, which became very popular for drying rice, villagers used to come, drink wine and hang out on it during the warm evenings, sometimes even sleeping overnight as it was so comfortable. If you needed a cook for your party, a wedding, a birthday or even an anniversary Laing De Ming was the man to call. Through this “part time” coveted role in the village, he introduced macadamia nuts and needle mushrooms as well as some other interesting new foods to the villagers. In modern times, he’s now something of an expert of red wine and even Scotch whisky having spent time in both Europe and the UK. Despite retiring from this role many years ago, many people still value his experience and seek his advice when they plan to entertain.
As they finished school, the daughters went out to find their own way in the world, the oldest going to Guangzhou to find work and the middle going to Zhuhai, near the border with Macau, where she worked in a government owned hotel and learnt to speak English, becoming so proficient, she was able to find work in an English Language training centre. Over the following years, the younger daughter also found herself working in Zhuhai and worked in the same English Language Centre.
In 2005 Liang Yu Hua was promoted to be a branch manager and moved back to Zhongshan when the language centre expanded its operations into the city.
Up until this time, the Liang family was a normal but slightly uncommon story because of the three daughters, because Liang De Ming is such an entrepreneurial figure in his community and because Wei Yan Lan was a member of the school board from 1969 through to her retirement in 2001. The family can best be described as happy and stable. When things changed and took an unusual and interesting turn.
During 2005, Liang Yu Hua (known by everyone as Ann Liang now), in her new role in Zhongshan met a foreign teacher and they dated for a few years before deciding to get married. This teacher, from Australia, was a little worried that the Chinese parents might not accept a foreigner but when he went to visit for the first time as a boyfriend, he was made welcome, he quickly became part of the family, accepting advice from his Chinese (Cantonese) parents-in-law about the best way to live in a Chinese family. All of this needed to be translated by Yu Hua as the parents couldn’t speak English and her lazy husband (the writer) never learnt Cantonese.
Before getting married Liang Yu Hua and her husband had set up a business in Zhongshan and invited Min Hua, the youngest sister to come to live with them and work in the business. It was a good arrangement; everybody was happy and they enjoyed a lot of evenings out together. One of the places they used to go was to a local BBQ, where several other foreign teachers used to drink beer, eat great food and enjoy pleasant summer evenings outside. One day, Min Hua went along and met a very handsome young teacher called David, from Melbourne, Australia. He liked her, she liked him so, they exchanged telephone numbers and met the next day, and the day after that, and probably the next day too until finally, they were seeing so much of each other they decided to get married.
This made the Liang family quite unusual, the small village of Yu Min, Dongsheng in Zhongshan, now had two daughters married and both to Australians.
In recent months, the family moved from unusual to being unique.
Through her work in the English language industry, and being married to a foreigner, Liang Yu Hua, daughter number 2, often would invite foreign friends to the family home, this was especially important if the friend was alone during any festival. One of the longest friends to be invited is Mike, he’s an Australian from Melbourne too. Mike has been visiting the family on and off for the last 12 years. He’s retired now and lives alone with his dog so, anytime there’s an event or a festival, he’s invited to join the Liang family. In doing so, he’s met and become great friends with the older sister, so much so, that they decided to get married during the last month.
When asked the other day, what she thought about having three daughters all married to Australians, Wei Yan Lan was very forthright and gave an extremely interesting answer: Our daughters have the freedom to choose anyone they like with no country barriers, it doesn’t matter where the men come from. I already told my daughters when they reached the age to have boyfriends, it doesn’t matter how old or how young the person is, it doesn’t matter if the person is rich or poor as long as he has a legal job and is not already married. As long as they like him, they can get married. They choose their own marriage so, in the future if there are any difficulties, they need to face them by themselves and handle their problems. (Watch this conversation here: https://youtu.be/EN2uyyIHC-8)
With Daughter number one married to an Australian in 2020, daughter number two married to an Australian in 2009 and daughter number three marrying her Australian a year later this must surely be one of China’s most unique families.
